Compliments and cravings

I haven’t been posting about Weight Watchers here, I’ve mostly been keeping it confined to my progress blog on my weight loss site. I guess that this blog and that blog are two sides of the same coin. But I still like to have this space to kind of ramble about happenings and goings-on that have nothing to do with food.

Still, there is bound to be some overlap. While doing Weight Watchers is only a part of my life – and indeed, the actual time I spend eating and attending meetings is not that great – it’s still becoming a part of who I am. I know that there will be a lot of internal changes that will come with the external ones. I’ve spent such a long time with this protective layer of fat that I really don’t know how life will be without it.

I’ve been getting a lot of compliments lately about my weight loss, which is still at about 21 pounds (I had a .2 gain this week). It’s encouraging, because lately I have been struggling a bit with cravings and temptations. First it was Thanksgiving, then the entire month of December and all the cookies that paraded through our house (some of them self-inflicted!), now it is the post-New Year’s letdown and a raging bout of PMS. I am really trying to stave off the cravings, but right now I am fighting the internal battle of what my body thinks it wants versus what my mind knows it needs. I may lose a little ground, even. But I’ll get it back.

I went to choir practice last night at church and there was a thank-you card in the mailbox from the pastor’s wife. She mentioned that she could tell that Ryan and I were both losing weight. I can tell a little bit in the way my jeans fit, but when I look in the mirror I feel like I look the same. Some of the people on the Weight Watchers message board that I read have said that even after losing more than 100 pounds, they still look in the mirror and see the same person that they were when they started. I wonder if it will be that way for me. I have been vigilant about keeping up my progress charts because so far that little blue line has been the most telling symbol of my success so far. It was a little bumpy at first, but now it is largely going down, down, down.

weight-watchers-progress-1-3-08.png

I updated the graph today to break out the major milestones for me – each 10% of my starting weight. I am getting very close to losing my first 10% and I think that seeing it really brings it home for me… I have come a long way so far, and I can go the rest of the way!

I have had a lot of support so far, both from my friends and family and from strangers online who have gone through this and are going through this now. I like talking with Ryan about the future, and about how excited I am to take control of the future and really enjoy it as a healthy person. I like talking to him about taking our cruise after I reach Lifetime. I like talking to him about starting a family when I am at a healthy weight. He’s been patient and understanding, and I think that he has been getting excited about my progress as well.

I don’t know why I felt the need to write this today… I guess I’m hovering between feeling proud of my progress, cranky about my cravings, and determined to defeat the fat. That’s an okay place to be. I will get to where I need to be, in time.

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5 responses to “Compliments and cravings

  1. Sarah, thanks for posting that you blogged. I really enjoyed reading this one in particular. First I want to say what a wonderful person your pastor’s wife sounds. That was very sweet that she encouraged you and your husband (Hebrews 10:24).
    I understand the place you are in. You will be in it many times throughout your journey. There are various milestones that will cause you to reflect, be fearful and excited at the same time. Your minimal gain is probably water retention because it’s that TOM. That’s probably a good source for the cravings as well. Normally WW says if you are craving something that bad just have it and get it over with. I think hormonal cravings are another thing. We will have them every 28 days for the rest of our lives and we had better get a hold of them (I Corinthians 6:12).
    It took me 45 lbs to change clothing sizes and for others to acknowledge my hard work. That is around the time rumors started flying that I had weight loss surgery. LOL. Bam it happened overnight for them. Geeze. All my hard work credited to some doc. Anyways it all of a sudden became slow going. I am patient, most of the time. I still do not see anything different in the mirror. I can see a slight difference in pictures. I think since I’ve lost even all over that is part of the illusion. I do in my mind understand I have lost weight and it’s been more about how I feel rather than how I look. Perhaps you may come to that place. I think it’s really sad for those who don’t have the presence of mind to enjoy appearance, renewed health or at least one.
    If you are not proud of yourself. I a perfect stranger am very proud of you. I read your other stuff earlier. When you posted on a page I was on I had to see what you looked like. Your writings show a ton of growth so far. I have to say I am struggling with envy that you have a partner in this. You are really blessed to have your husband talk this walk with you.
    Blessings for the New Year.
    —Sistabigboned

  2. meant to say take this walk with you. That’s what I get for blabbing so long on your page.

  3. I also am so thrilled to be able to witness this journey which you are taking. Already I can see a tremendous difference in how you carry yourself and your self-esteem concerning the choices you are making in what you eat. Ups and downs are perfectly natural – just remember that you do have a support team both through WW, your friends and family and also through those in your church family.

    We are all very, very proud of you and your accomplishments thus far and can only say that we will continue to be proud of you as you continue your journey.

    πŸ™‚

  4. Hey Sarah,
    Congrats on your first 20 lbs. That’s so awesome! weight watchers is a great program because it teaches you how to eat correctly. It teaches you about portion control, and that’s so cool that Ryan is losing too. Is he doing weight watchers with you, or is it just that you’re cooking different, and it affects him too. Are you exercising and eating right? Just curious?

    We have a great friend, a guy, our best friend actually, who started at over 400 pounds in August. He’s lost over 60 now. He’s a man, and a short one at that, but guys lose quickly, and he’s one of those people who is REALLY overweight and very commited. He also exercises a ton because he realized he needs to lose about 200 pounds. You probably only need to lose what 30 or so? Anyway, keep it up.

    I haven’t even seen you, and I bet 20 lbs lost is very noticable. I’d love to see before and after pictures when you reach your goal!!

    I hope you and Ryan had great holidays!

  5. Amy – I wish I only had 30 more pounds to lose! I actually have about 120 to go. πŸ™‚ Thanks for stopping by and leaving a note, and for the encouraging words!

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